Forever nowhere

I wake up in the morning, wait to get into the bus so I can peacefully read some book. I enter the office and I wait to finish my morning ritual calls or mails. Then I sit there waiting for my lunch time, then for the clock to hit 5 so that I can again go back into my hiding place which is the bus. I reach home and wait for 9 pm so that I can have my dinner then I wait to go to bed. When I cant sleep and stay awake I think of if only I get to sleep it will soon be morning and the night will be over. So here I am repeating the above steps on every day of my life religiously. So what do you see missing in this routine, its obviously a sense of purpose. Its as if someone has taken away the thing that matters the most to me. I am not talking here about a single purpose like many ppl have, to achieve or to do something diff or something great. Its the simple purpose in life thats missing, the purpose of reaching home with a plan to cook a meal or waking up to think that I can probably do something I did yesterday a lil better today or plan to keep myself occupied on a weekend or atleast dream about something which I know I cant get but atleast I was dreaming. No more there is an urge to own a luxury car nor to go around the world. As I said before the most precious thing is missing in life. I used to think this was a cool life but honestly this is as good as having no existence. If I look back there were many a times when I had a sense of achievement, but if it was never enough, I just want that one moment which will always remain without giving me the feeling of void.
Tonight the dream is mine
tomorrow I wanna be awake with a hope of fulfilling it
But there is lil or no desire to wake up
Just in case the hope was all false

Fountainhead - long way to finish the book

Finally I started reading the fountainhead seriously. After hearing so many people talk about it. It is a daring effort to be different just like the main character. This is what I think as far as I have read right now. People keep telling me about this Howard roark and how he is their favourite character. But honestly in real life if we ever met a character like him how many of us would really like him? Obviously the first attempt by everyone around would be like the character Peter Keating. Basic question is can anyone really love such a man? other than ofcourse the conked off character like Dominique? The part am right now dominique and howard havent met each other but its obvious that they are suitable for each other.So for people who like howard roark I would like to ask what they like about him? I gues everyone wants to be like him, not to care about the world be a master of his own, but not everyone is capable of doing it, either lack of intent or lack of talent. So why even say he is your fav? I can understand if someone likes a jovial character, or a handsome rich guy described in romantic novels but Howard roark? why do people have to pretend about even their fav characters? somehow whenevr people talk about fountainhead the feeling I get is they are trying to place themselves amongst the intellectuals who read only books with some sort of substance - crap. Nothing wrong with the book, amazing till now. But my criticism is for those people who read this and like it because it is supposed to be intellectual/philosophical.The best part of the book till now is that the author has written the book as if she were Howard roark, she so obviously laughs at the person who is reading this book. Its almost as if the author doesnt care what the hell you might think of her book.No she doesnt care if you appreciate it or hate it. She doesnt care if you think it as the best book ever or crap. Good I am reading this book, whenevr I next hear someone saying wow such an amazing book, I can laugh at them saying who cares what you think of it.
Coming to the characters, the only real character in the book is of Peter Keating. Howard roark doesnt exist. Even if he does he is not known to anyone in this world. If you meet him you will despise him. Dominique is just one of those characters who is just at the edge of breakdown. all others are just part of this world we see a bit of each in people around us day in day out.
The story line is kinda obvious and simple. Its about being passionate vs being practical.you will read through the book without much effort, beginning is a bit of a struggle it improves as it progresses. its a jeffery archer book without masala and lot of reality thrown in. Start reading if u are looking for some book to read.

Nothing remains same

Somehow beauty of bangalore seems more obvious when there has being a slight drizzle and there is this lazy atmosphere all over. Today morning bangalore seemed like the old banaglore i knew of.
The route my bus takes is thru that ulsoor, mg rd, trinity circle and rest everyone knows.It probably rained overnight, Monday morning is obviously the laziest of mornings and with this cloudy climate just makes me want to snuggle back into my razai.
I was talking about my bus route, now it vaguely resembles the old days, with still some of the gulmohar trees intact and i have no idea what are the other trees that are lined up on either sides of the roads. Saw couple of school buses on the way kids looking really drousy and with hardly any enthu to go to school :).
Things changed so quickly in the same bus route. One place the rain made the place look beautiful and another place as soon as we enter vivek nagar felt rain just increased the filth there and ofcourse no more trees to be seen.
Trees are apparently replaced with shabbily built appartments on one side to a huge slum area on the other. Eventually we enter koramangala, there are few trees left but the roads get busier, too much honking everywhere and above the honking that irrating sound of the indicator on my bus.It just gets worse as we cross the silk board junction and joining the ocean of hosur traffic.With the half built flyover the place is a real mess.
Now its not that I am too keen to reach the office early, I dont mind the wait since am too engrossed in the book am reading but really I wish the drive was pleasant.I dont think this problem is specific to bangalore, so many people and so much less place to accomodate them. Was watching bachna ae haseeno yest, Ranbir says that in swiss the ratio of cattle and man is 10:1. How I wish most places on world would be like that, except NY please that place needs that buzz to make it beautiful.
To add to this whole road saga, we have our infy bus stop as well, so many people. Its as if I have arrived at the railway station. Just that there is no escape here.

Do you like your husbands friends and their wives?

The rules are always different for men and women. What would you say if a husband calls his wife now and then to enquire? Obviously he is smitten by his wife. What would you call a wife who calls her husband in the same fashion? Ofcourse a wife who bugs her husband.Not just husband and wife the rules are different even for the men and women in one sided love. It gets worse after marriage. Are you expected to hang out with the wives of your husbands friends while he is surely having fun with friends? Atleast for me its the most boring thing to do and I can see it on their faces as well.Yes we are courtious we do some small talk but we dont share any bond. You are lucky if you do find these women fun to hang out with else you will be punished all your life with such get togethers. Most men do have some common interest cricket, bikes, cars. But you cant say the same about women. The days are gone when women would sit and crib about their in laws or talk about cooking cleaning.And the biggest problem for me is none of these women seem to have a mind of their own, either they are such stereotypical women no wonder their husbands are just another set of hypocritical MCPs. What is more annoying is the friends I had before marriage have also started acting wierdly, dunno if they have assumed that I have become just another of those married women who cant talk anything more than husband house and in laws. It just looks like prejudice has become a common trait amongst everyone these days. It is tought but I am trying to get out of the habit of following my husbands footsteps literally. Trust me if he reads this he will be offended he will just term me as someone with big ego and thats why I cant be like other women. Truth is I hate the 'other women' who have made life hell for people like me.

Chasing Harry Winston

The most relaxing sight is the view from window seat when it is drizzling.It just transports me into a new world, takes away atleast temporarily all my insecurities and troubles.Was reading the book Chasing Harry Winston from past 1 week. Well its a v good book if you are in the mood for some lite and happy reading.But yes its a book for the ladies(as my BIL prefers to call, aunties), not for gals mind you :). It is for women in late 20s with the constant fear of approaching 30s v soon and not have achieved anything in life.Dont go by the title, its not abt someone chasing a rich eligible single guy Harry Winston.For most of us who dunno who are what harry winston is here is a brief intro - Harry Winston was a jeweller from the US of A. You can read more about him in the wikipedia ofcourse http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Winston.
By the way i dont wanna tell the entire story before you get to read it . If you are someone who likes non fiction or fiction with some highly indecipherebale vocab pls give this a skip and dont offend our poor souls which still likes to dream there prob is a guy out thr holding out a harry winston diamond, sure we all like our men on knees dont we?Till few months back I was torn between friends who were married and those who werent.But now am glad almost all of the people I have being close to in past few years are now married and unsettled just like me.
Book has the feel of sex and the city and is based in NY (I know am prejudiced when it comes to that place). One character most of us, atleast most I know can relate to is the character of Leigh. I do miss the independence of living in an apt run on my own, book brings back lotta those memories.Takes you through the 1 yr in the lives of the 3 main characters of this book. Funny at times, lotta Dos and Donts listed in a relationship, but comes out in a fun sort of way.And if you are not in a relationship yet, well it still helps to read this book, you will also identify with some of the situations.So say cheers to all us ladies getting closer to 30 and still living with hope, read and njoi. Its value for money.